A Pearl In Shell. . !!

It is an OLD thought . . was written 2 years ago , but one of my favorite. . .

Dear Diary ,,

I used to know a girl who was really obsessed by her look !!  and  she seemed happy with that . . .

But actually, she never felt happy or secured !!  and deep inside she always  felt as if she was dragged into a mess !!

But that was while ago , Diary !  I believe that if you could see her today, you won’t recognize her !! 

The bless of Hijab helped her to discover things in a different way when attractiveness stands for being modest & simple . . .

Now ,  she feels like a pearl in shell with her hair, bare arms & legs   are all covered. . !

RamadaN (The Holy Month) . .

Ramadan is once again upon us . . YUPPPPPIII 

Yes, I am excited !! Happy Ramadan Everyone =)

I love the month of Ramadan soooo much & it was always special to me . . I love the amazing spirit that comes along with it . . It can be sensed in everything, but can’t be described . .!!!! WooooW!!

When I was a little girl, Ramadan meant a lot to me . . My parents used to buy a colorful “Fanous” for me & my brother . . it was really fantastic, not like those Chinese toys Nowadays !!

I also remember that I started to practice fasting since I was 5 or 6 years old . . I used to beg my mother to let me fast the whole day, then next afternoon by 1:30 pm coming home from school starving, She let me break my fast and then we agreed that I’d only fast till I got home from school =))
All of the kids were not fasting or just fast the quarter of the day, but if anyone was discovered drinking or eating Oooooo it was a serious scandal LOOOL =)))))

Also, Ramadan was so special because of “Boogy & tamtam", it was one of the best kid's shows ever !!

I really miss those days. . .

When I was younger, I thought watching soap operas & the different TV shows are what made Ramadan so special to me !! As in Ramadan the TV was much more available, not like the other weekdays !!

It was always so special because of the yummy food :) the family gatherings, the decorated streets by lanterns “fawanees”, the short school\work hours . . . etc.

A lot of memories I can write about Ramadan . . A lot of things I still love about Ramadan . .

But my idea about Ramadan is totally different now . . . it isn’t about food , gatherings or soap operas any longer !!!

What is really so special about Ramadan is the spirit of boosting faith that comes once a year!

Fasting , reading Qur'an everyday, doing zikr as much as possible, praying Taraweeh, giving sadaqat, charity. . Etc.

WooW !!

I can call it the charger which charge the battery of ourselves !! so that we can drive the vehicle safely during the rest of the year!

Ramadan Kareem Everyone . . . May Allah guide us to make the most out of this Holy Month. . .

This is . . . . ??!

Some meaningful stories "Copied" . .




THIS IS FAITH !

Once all villagers decided to pray for rain. On the day of prayer all people gathered & only one boy came with an umbrella. THIS IS FAITH !



THAT’S TRUST !

Feelings of a one-year old baby when you throw him in the air. He laughs because he knows you’ll catch him. THAT’S TRUST !



THAT’S HOPE

 

Every night we go to bed, we’ve no assurance to wake up alive the next morning. But we still make plans for tomorrow. THAT’S HOPE

When It Comes to Politics !!

Politics became a very touchy issue nowadays in Egypt !!!

It is a lot like playing with a stick of dynamite!!! All it takes is a conversation with someone who has an opposite opinion and it will explode !!!

 

Everyone tends to take a certain political view , but when it comes to who actually understand how it works. . . the majority don’t (including me)!

 

Uffffffffff ! Politics Sucks . .

The "Thirty-Something" Issue . . !!

 

I just turned 31 two days ago LOL!

And "LOL" is because I remember when I was a little girl , I used to think that anyone who is 30+ years old is an ancient :)))))

I remember when I was 15 years old and the English teacher at the novel class was describing a character from the novel we were studying, and she said: "she is a pretty young lady at the age of 30”. . So I stopped her and said “Young at age of 30 !!! How come?!”  And I was really surprised how to describe a woman at her thirties with the word young!!!!!!!!

And I still remember the expression on the teacher’s face and how she laughed out loud because she was 34 !!

Then even later when I was a younger adult , anyone in his or her thirties seemed somehow old to me ! and for such a long time in my life thirties seemed very far away , and then all of a sudden I found myself turning 31 !!

 What is really wired is that   I might have entered a totally new age group and joined the group of “thirty-something” people, but I am still exactly the same girl ! I might be a little bit grown up but that doesn’t mean I feel anyhow different !!

Anyway, I wish this new decade  would be better than my last one Insha'Allah and I wish it would be full of   achievements , answered prayers and dreams that would come true ッ 

To my Friends . .

I am loved by my friends el hamdul'Allah which is a great blessing  I didn’t consider lately because I was a little bit down !!

I have a bunch of amazing faithful friends , Masha 'Allah ! some of them have been my friends since long time and others  I  just met while ago , but I do love all of them equally . . .  And  I am really lucky and blessed to have all of them in my life . .

Okay It is almost 2:00 am , and I am staying up late to write this to let you know that I do LOVE all of you soooo much , and . . .

I owe  all of you  an apology because I thought I was alone , while you are always around !!



Sometimes you just mess things up LOL :)) !! and may be I don’t agree with all your choices  , but I will always be there for all of  you Insha’Allah & you will always be in my priority list

 

Rabena Ya7'alykooo Lya xoxoxox

L.O.C.K.E.D . . !!

Although I enjoy writing so much , but nowadays  I am not really into writing and words are hard to get , as if they are anchored and trapped inside me !!!!

Words are lost ! and I'm just not sure of where I am or who I am !! I can’t decide what want to do with my life . . the vision is really blurred !!

SIGH! I just can't find my words right now, but when I get it all unlocked I will be on track again and tell another stories insha’Allah . .

They are telling me something . . !!

I am talking about my dreams; I believe they are trying to tell me something all the time. .

 

Okay, they are just normal dreams without anything extraordinary, but I believe that they are a sort of communication channel opened between me and my unconscious mind !! They speak in a symbolic language some words of the soul !!!!

 

I probably had millions of dreams before, but while ago I started to have those dreams, and they just have a different flavor !!!!

 

They seem so real , can't easily be forgotten and I usually wake up with a feeling of not having slept at all . . . !!

 

They are all about the same person . . . they are trying to tell me something . . !!

Heart . . . Or Mind ?!

 

I am more into “Follow-your-heart” person, and it gets me into trouble sometimes !! But I trust my heart and believe it knows better. . .

So from time to time I just let it lead while leaving my mind  behind trying hopelessly to figure out what is going on . . !!!!!!

And as my mind is too strong to give up that easily , so it usually starts working and put so many barriers (ego , fear , dignity) in the way !!! Sometimes these barriers just make heart's job more complicated , but heart knows exactly where we are supposed to be and guides us to it . . .

 

Okay , I am writing this because recently I  have made a decision that is totally based on heart !!! Yes, it was incredibly challenging but yet I believe heart sees what the mind can’t observe . . .

 

And hopefully the reward will be good insha’Allah :)

Away from Everything . . . !!!

 

I wish I could runaway to a place which will never remind me of anything I went through !!!!

I would love to get away from all the stress , worries and tension of life . . . I would love to have a long break from thinking !!!

 

A place where I can forget all about my broken dreams , crushed expectations and lost hopes . . . !!

A Year Has Passed . . !!

A roughish good year has passed !!!! and It was full of so many emotions and extraordinary moments. . .

A Year after the Egyptian Revolution

We have stepped down a whole dictatorial system and have them jailed !!!

 

We learned how laugh at our jokes while crying at the martyrs’ funerals !!!!

 We faced the crisis as one. . And observed joys together as well !!

We were taught to love Egypt in our own way . . Although we had times when we disagreed on how to express this love, but we never disagreed on how to wave proudly the Egyptian flag !!!

We finally knew how true parliament elections are like, after decades of political corruption !! 

A whole generation was taught about politics and turned into fans of the politicians rather than celebrities!!!!

We recognized loads of terms, rights and laws we never knew they existed!!!

We prayed faithfully . . sang loudly . . and dreamed optimistically !!!!

 

And may be we didn’t get all our expectations done and yet much to be realized . . But at least . . .

We had something after years of NOTHING !!

Signs Are Everywhere . . !!

I think Allah gives us hints and signs all the time to warn or cheer us up . . .  They are everywhere. . some are clear enough , while others are too blurred to be noticed !! But they are placed along our roads pointing to where we are supposed to be. . !!!! 

 

Usually we don’t start paying attention to them, unless we took wrong turn and about to get lost !!!  But for me it is different . . .

 

I have always believed in signs, and I look for them all the time whether I am in need or not . . .

But Sometimes when life is more confusing, I just flip the pages of the “Quran” and I ask questions (the answers are some random verses I meet by chance) I always feel like it's right, or even close to what I need to know !!!!!! It happens all the time :))

Also signs might come in many ways: a certain word you hear when you are thinking about a certain thing , wise advice from someone you know , dream or even an inner feeling you have . . !!!!!

Signs happen all the time , the important part is to try to notice them when they come . .

This Is Not Me . . . This Is My Protective Shell !!

If anybody would ask  my family , my friends or people I have known for years , they would probably say that I am not shy at all !!!  because I am really coooool with them :))

But when I am around new people, at new places or have to talk in front of a group of people, I am really shy !!

Sometimes I just wonder about my shyness . . Am I really shy or just protecting myself from what I don't know !!!!! and I never knew what the answer is . . !!

Anyway , I do try to break through my shyness or at least train myself to get comfy with people faster (as it takes me longer than the average to feel comfortable !!) , but I have always been that way . . . I don't think that it could be easily changed !!! but No prob. , I can live with it . .

So , Why I am writing this . . ???!!

Because I don’t like to be judged based on what may others see at first . . believe me , I am not that girl !!!!

I just need sometime to feel secure and reveal the “Real Me”. .

Simple Thing . . Big Fun !!

I love popping bubble wrap . . !!!!!  

I believe everybody does !! who wouldn't like such fun ??!!

Remember when I was a kid , whenever something wrapped up in bubble wrap came, me and my younger brother would always fight over it !!!!

Now , after all these years , I still love it !! It is fun and stress reliever too ;) And whenever I get something with bubble wrap , I feel more excited about the wrapping sheet than the thing itself . . !!!!!

Childish . . . . huh ??!

Actually, it is amazing how a simple thing like a bubble wrap sheet brings all this pleasure to anyone !!

The Swing . . !!

I remember the first time I swung !! I was almost 3  or 4 years old . .


My mom put me on the swing’s seat , told me to catch the chain of the swing well, and then she started pushing on the swing carefully . .


It was fun to sit on the swing doing nothing but being pushed by someone . . But later, Mom got tired of standing, so she pushed me one last push and went to take a seat !!

At this time, I realized that I should keep swinging without her help !!!! I should know about moving back and forth by myself. . !!

Well, it was really difficult to deal with self-swinging at the beginning !! As my legs were hanging and my body was rocked !! I Felt as if I was sliding off the swing’s seat !!!!!!!!!!

But gradually I learned how to balance between sticking my legs out and pulling them back with every up & down-swing while grabbing the chain of the swing tightly . . . and woooow  it became  so cool !!!

In a view of that memory, I realized that life is exactly like the swing ride I have experienced many many years ago . . but a life time one !!!  So , I came up with the "Swing's Theories". . .

• We all just need a push or pushes to start , but at a certain point we have to run things by ourselves . . .  !!!

• At times things might seem not easy to be handled  not because they are really bad !!! but because  we have no idea about how to make them work properly . . !!!


• Our values , beliefs and religious convictions are the rope of the swing . . . they should be grabbed tightly, otherwise we could fall . . . !!!!

• Every experience has both sides ,  bright &  dark one . . No matter which one we will start with , but definitely we are going to come across the other side too . . . !!!

• And finally ,  Yes !! we can still have fun even without anybody around . . . !!!
  

See !!! everything can teach you something . . . Even those little swings in the playgrounds !!

 Enjoy Swinging ;)

Another New Year . . .

(This post was supposed to be shared in the New Year’s Eve . . . but late is better than never )

 

Actually, I am not really concerned about New Year’s Eve celebrations !!! And this is because of my religious conviction (I am Muslim El-hamdul’Allah)

So, for me this eve is just time to reflect upon the past . . It is the time when I take a moment to look at what I did during the last months . .

I have realized that the last few years were really challenging and life has rarely gone in the way I have wanted or expected !!!!  But there were always loads of lessons to learn , and  every trial, hard situation or painful moment I have lived, has shaped me somehow into the person I am today !!

About what I feel !! Well , I admit  I am a bit excited about 2012 with much caution. . . It’s like I'm waiting to open up a box that I don’t know what it has inside !!!


Hope what is coming next will be better Insha'Allah :)